13 years ago today, after over a year of saving up, I got my very first Wii U on launch day. Now I have three of them. If I continue buying Wii Us at my current rate, I will have 15 Wii Us by age 75.

This game is not nearly as imaginative as Wonder, but it does give me a lot of appreciation for the gamepad's d-pad. The joycons are so mid...