My Wii U gamepad™ calls to me like the green goblin mask. It scares me.

The water supply on my island has been found to contain higher quantities of lead than the legal limit and as its supreme overlord, I refuse to fix it. Also rent is going up.

I have so many gotdamn rolls of toilet paper. *sigh* if only there was some kind of deadly plague to artificially jack up the price so I could make millions and have an excuse to play more of this game.