This year, I went to the Louvre with my 3DS to use the guide one last time before support ended. It's hard to believe I was one of the last people to take a photo of now stolen jewelry using 3DS camera.

if i ever get banned imma need everyone to go to the pretendo discord and start revolting

im glad my ex wife kicked me out so i don't have to find her suspiciously moist pictures of Anya Taylor-Joy on the bed

my parole officer just asked me out... if i say yes i wonder if he'll let me start drinking again for those who keep up, this is a different officer and not the previous one. i got a new one after my 17th DUI

my son said he wants to "unalive me with a pew pew" whatever that means. only being allowed supervised visits on holidays is a blessing in disguise

after my phase of dating other men to get back at my ex-wife for divorcing me apparently she's also been seeing other women. bet she doesn't even have a parole officer that looks at her longingly like i do

my son called his sister a "foid" he's going to tear this family apart

guys if i bent my iphone 5 in half would i have an iphone 5ds